


YOU MANIAC (Some May Say That I'm A)

by starsnatched (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Blackmail, Character Study, Dark, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Heavy Angst, Jaemin always tries to kill Jeno and Jeno is used to it, Jeno knows it's toxic but he lets it happen, M/M, Manipulation, Might add more tags, Patterns, Post-Break Up, Relationship Study, They're both messed up, Threats of Violence, Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships, Yes it's inspired by Conan Gray's "Maniac", You Have Been Warned, triggering content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:15:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25448230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/starsnatched
Summary: Jeno knows that he's just hurting himself by indulging Jaemin, and that he's hurting the other by not having the backbone to tell him to fuck off and move on. But, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	YOU MANIAC (Some May Say That I'm A)

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this little story about toxic relationships. I got the idea while listening to "Maniac" by Conan Gray so yeah. As stated in the tags, this contains triggering content. You've been warned.
> 
> You already know— I write for practice, so I'd really appreciate if you comment your honest thoughts on this story :)) Thanks in advance!

It’s not unusual to sleep with a knife, that’s what Jeno says to convince himself. It’s normal to want to protect yourself from those that want to do you harm.

The brunet lays on his bed, and he turns to face the clock sitting on his bedside table. It says that it’s two in the morning, but Jeno knows that he should always prepare for the unexpected. He’s experienced a lot of shit and he won’t take any chances.

The man hears his doorbell ring, and he sits up, reaching over to his nightstand and gets a glinting object. The brunet checks to see if the blade is sharp, and practices swinging it a few times. The doorbell sings over and over. 

“I’m coming,” he grumbles as he opens his bedroom door. As he makes his way to his front door, he turns on the living room lights and lovingly thumbs a vase on his coffee table that contains flowering rhododendron. He finds himself standing in the entryway, where the doorbell continues to chime. “Stop ringing the fucking doorbell already.”

He yanks open the front door without seeing who it is, and the mysterious person pushes their way in. They grab Jeno’s neck and force him inside, and the brunet feels his hip bump into the couch of the living room.

The supposed guest uses his other hand to wrap around the brunet’s neck, and they would’ve strangled Jeno by that point if the man hadn't raised his knife for the both of them to see. It glimmers against the harsh light of the room as it’s set against the other person’s own neck.

The strange visitor bursts into laughter, loud and unrestricted, “You’ve gotten better, babe.”

“Don’t call me that,” Jeno hisses as he pushes the stranger off him. He rises from the couch with the knife still firm in his hand, ready to strike at any time. “We broke up, remember? Or are you too drunk to recall, Jaemin?”

“We did? Hmm,” the man hums, and he takes the liberty of sitting on the couch, stretching. Like he didn’t attempt to strangle his ex boyfriend just a few seconds ago. “Doesn’t ring a bell. Besides, if we did, why did you let me in?”

“You forced your way in.”

Jaemin backtracks without a beat, like he doesn’t care. _Because_ he doesn’t care. “Then why did you open the door for me in the first place?”

Jeno sighs and lets the knife clatter on the coffee table. He crosses his arms, “I didn’t check.”

“That’s dangerous, Nono,” The other man giggles. The brunet observes how bloodshot his ex’s eyes were, the redness on his cheeks that was a sign of drinking. How the taller man’s blue hair was messy, and his clothes were wrinkled. How is the man still somehow attractive? Jeno doesn't know. “What if it wasn’t me, but someone who wanted to kill you or something?”

 _You would have_ , Jeno wants to say. _You’ve been doing shit like this for weeks now_.

But he doesn’t say it. Instead, he points to the door. “Get out.”

“Aw come on, babe. Is this how you treat your boyfriend?” The younger whines, pouting. It almost disarms the younger. Almost. “I just got here!”

“I don’t care,” The brunet says. “Leave.”

“You have pretty flowers, Jeno.” The blue-haired man suddenly leans forward to run his hand along the flowers from the vase. He latches onto a petal, crumpling and turning it with his fingers until it’s eventually peeled from the rest of the flowers. 

“Don’t touch that.” The shorter shoves Jaemin away, picking up and observing the crushed petal.

“You’re so mean,” Jaemin says, voice soft and broken. Jeno looks to see the other man tearing up, his voice breaks. “I can’t believe I even dated you in the first place.”

“Okay.”

“Fuck you, I hate you!”

“I know.”

The taller man shoots up from the couch, backing Jeno into the wall. He towers over the brunet, and he doesn’t stop his tirade of insults, practically screaming into the other’s face.

“I’m going to tell everyone about you! I’m going to tell all my friends about how you’re a piece of shit, and that you always eat away at my life! I’m going insane because of _you_ , y’know? I’ll tell them all the abuse you inflicted on me, what do you think about that?!”

“Whatever.” Jeno says, and tries to put some distance between him and Jaemin. The taller man doesn't budge an inch, instead slamming his arms against the wall and using them like a cage. Jeno is trapped, but he doesn't move. The blue-haired male visibly relaxes.

“Oh babe, I didn’t mean any of that,” he coos, nuzzling his head against Jeno’s neck. The older man pushes him away, but Jaemin just goes back to sniffing the other man’s skin like it’s no big deal at all. “You know I love you, right? You’re my one and only.”

“Just leave, Jaemin,” The brunet whispers. As much as he wants to hold his ex in his arms, he knows it wont do any of them good. He squirms when he feels Jaemin lightly nibble on his neck. He knows that whatever they have is a toxic cycle that neither of them can really get out of. But he tries. “Please.”

The blue-haired man decides to pull off, but not before leaving a quick kiss on Jeno’s left cheek. He lets his lips linger for a second before speaking, “Same time tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Is all what the brunet says. He’s become so desensitized towards their little routine.

“Okay,” Jaemin leaves another kiss on the older's other cheek. “Love you.”

Jeno watches how his ex stumbles to the front door. The blue-haired male opens it, but before he leaves, he blows one last kiss to the shorter man. 

“Maniac.” Jeno sighs out as Jaemin unceremoniously slams the door behind him. 

His soul feels empty as he picks up the knife and goes to lock his front door. His mind is blank when he tosses the torn apart flower petal into the trash. He feels nothing as he heads back to his bedroom, locking it too. His heart feels hollow as he double checks his window to see if Jaemin was really gone, and he secures it— Just in case his ex tries to climb through like he did in broad daylight last week.

The brunet drops the knife onto the night table, and gets back into bed. He reaches out and runs his hand along the blade. His skin prickles in anticipation. Despite knowing that the both of them follow a destructive and dangerous pattern, he’s excited to see the blue-haired male and do it all over again. Jeno knows that he's just hurting himself by indulging Jaemin, and that he's hurting the other by not having the backbone to tell him to fuck off and move on. But, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

 _Maybe we’re both maniacs_ , Jeno thinks to himself as closes his eyes. _Well, it’s okay_. 

The clock reads 2:15 AM.

**Author's Note:**

> So that's the end of my one shot (?) about toxic relationships/emotionally abusive significant others. I hope it was good in your eyes heh
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you think in the comments! Thanks so much for reading :))
> 
> twitter: @starsnatched


End file.
